4.29.2008

Prune Crisis and Tofu Dreams

Whoa.

Is it really...?

Can it be...?

Yup, that's explodingplum in your feed reader, my friends! The always-purple, ever-satiric Queen of the Fruits (I just inaugurated myself) is back from an epic nine-week quest to identify and overthrow the prune production industry. I can't go into details as I'm convinced Sun-Maid has bugged my every move, but suffice it to say, a national crisis of incomprehensible magnitude--the Jericho of produce, if you will--was narrowly averted.

So, where did I leave off?

::Dim lights::

Previously on explodingplum...

Plum finds out she is a twin...but not just any twin. Behold the malignant doppleganger who neglects to write or photograph, but merely verbalizes her gustatory experiences instead of immortalizing them in print for all to share. Will she shed her peel of posting failure? Or will her discolored bruises only make her stronger?

::End scene.::

During the aforementioned mission to prevent the dessication of my brethren, I had the pleasure of meeting and joining a group of Foodbuzz Featured Publishers in Seattle for dinner. (In case you didn't know, superplums don't work weekends, as all battle ceases for harvest. For further information, see Fruit At War: A Retrospective.) Trying (and failing) to contain my unrequited delight when confronted with the menu option of tofu satay at Wild Ginger, The Pink Hobart inquired as to the details of my dietary preferences. And while I am not a vegetarian, I do suppose it is quite logical to make that conclusion given my overwhelming favor (some say obsession) of bean curd over meat.

And then yesterday, after a lovely lunch visit with Rachel of Cupcakes Take the Cake, I once again went on a soy soliloquy during our stroll on the Embarcadero, prompting yet more questions regarding my non-existent vegetarianism. Curious, I thought. Is it a distinctly American cultural phenomenon that a meat-lover would not normally (or ever) eat tofu for tofu sake? Is the typical view that meat-lovers and tofu addicts are mutually exclusive, that in no way one can like, stand, or dare I say become the other? No peaceful coexistence?? No happy curd and carcass reunions?!?!

Pa-shaw. I can have my curd and bacon and eat them, too. Watch me.

So my new mission, should I choose to accept it (and do I not always?), is to undertake a challenge of grand proportions to scan every corner of the Bay Area in search of the perfect tofu. North Bay, East Bay, South Bay, and beyond--no eatery is immune. There are untold flavors, textures, and combinations just waiting to be absorbed by your taste buds.

So to you, my dear readers, absorb! Absorb, I say!

And to the naysaying carnivores among you, I beg you to give soy a chance. Yes, health benefits abound, but that's not the point, or at least the angle I'm going for, anyway. The point is that tofu is magically delicious...and then some.

With that, I shall be compiling an itinerary in the next week or so to include tofu vendors far and wide. Suggestions and recommendations are welcome. (Actually, at this completely and utterly nascent stage, they're also pretty necessary.)

In closing, I leave you with one of my finest literary works to date, entitled Ode to Tofu. Take notes, Shiki.

Delightful doufu
Firm, tender, soft, silky smooth
God bless thee, bean curd


Plum out.