What I am about to tell you makes me feel a little dirty.
I feel like I have committed a faux pas to top all faux pas, and have spit on the sanctity that is food blogging.
What would you say if I told you that this blog was only born out of a desire to glorify an anecdote? What if I said that the whole blogging aspect was an afterthought at best, that the desire to immortalize an inside joke was the real catalyst for my quasi-authorial pursuits? What would you do if I said that the conception of explodingplum
I know, I'm a fraud!!!
I hazardously jumped in without a plan, using the tactic of peer-pressure rationalization to justify doing like everyone else. But at least they all have plans, motives, dreams. They seek to share, inspire, and instill confidence in burgeoning gourmands everywhere with the notion that yes, if you can follow a recipe, you too can have an end product that will mesmerize and delight the harshest of critics!
But me? I'm just a pyro who likes exploding fruit. And yes, I really am as self-serving as I appear. And just as mature, I might add. I don't possess the blueprint for the perfect ratatouille. Nor do I spend hours pining over my food pictures, enhancing the contrast and utilizing the best lens to convey such natural beauty to my readers.
Oh my GOD, I don't even take food pictures!!!
I need a moment.
Okay. If you still happen to be reading and have somehow not forever damned me to the Mario Batali Anti-Blogroll (consider yourself lucky if you don't know), I can only assume that I am forgiven.
Now, in the midst of all this eggsistential drama (I might be repentant, but I can still crack a joke...HA, DOUBLE ZING!), you are probably still wondering what on earth I'm talking about. Let's start at the beginning.
I was recently made aware of the fact that I am a twin. I can't say I'm shocked. Looking back, the signs were always there--sharing food, long walks to Destijl, Ferry Building excursions--it was obvious to anyone. And in the midst of all this meal swapping, I would serve as the markedly less demure ying to her refined yang. So, if logic dictates that twins come as a pair, and she is the halo-bearing wunderfoodie, then that must mean...
Yup. I'm the other one.
The twin to whom I am referring is none other than the Blogger Formerly Known as Miniplum, now classified by the alias eatingplum, who possesses, and I quote, a "penchant for cute things," including but not limited to "cute pencils, cute pencil cases, and cute boys." So, serving as both a complete antithesis of the aforementioned qualities (except maybe for shoes) and as an exceptionally stuffed companion to the miniplum on a post-luncheon Embarcadero stroll, explodingplum was born.
And while I may have haphazardly stumbled into this e-universe, I vow to amend my ways. I do solemnly swear to never take the name of Emeril in vain. I will try one new food each week. I will not be a produce sadist.
Well, two out of three ain't bad.
I feel like I have committed a faux pas to top all faux pas, and have spit on the sanctity that is food blogging.
What would you say if I told you that this blog was only born out of a desire to glorify an anecdote? What if I said that the whole blogging aspect was an afterthought at best, that the desire to immortalize an inside joke was the real catalyst for my quasi-authorial pursuits? What would you do if I said that the conception of explodingplum
I know, I'm a fraud!!!
I hazardously jumped in without a plan, using the tactic of peer-pressure rationalization to justify doing like everyone else. But at least they all have plans, motives, dreams. They seek to share, inspire, and instill confidence in burgeoning gourmands everywhere with the notion that yes, if you can follow a recipe, you too can have an end product that will mesmerize and delight the harshest of critics!
But me? I'm just a pyro who likes exploding fruit. And yes, I really am as self-serving as I appear. And just as mature, I might add. I don't possess the blueprint for the perfect ratatouille. Nor do I spend hours pining over my food pictures, enhancing the contrast and utilizing the best lens to convey such natural beauty to my readers.
Oh my GOD, I don't even take food pictures!!!
I need a moment.
Okay. If you still happen to be reading and have somehow not forever damned me to the Mario Batali Anti-Blogroll (consider yourself lucky if you don't know), I can only assume that I am forgiven.
Now, in the midst of all this eggsistential drama (I might be repentant, but I can still crack a joke...HA, DOUBLE ZING!), you are probably still wondering what on earth I'm talking about. Let's start at the beginning.
I was recently made aware of the fact that I am a twin. I can't say I'm shocked. Looking back, the signs were always there--sharing food, long walks to Destijl, Ferry Building excursions--it was obvious to anyone. And in the midst of all this meal swapping, I would serve as the markedly less demure ying to her refined yang. So, if logic dictates that twins come as a pair, and she is the halo-bearing wunderfoodie, then that must mean...
Yup. I'm the other one.
The twin to whom I am referring is none other than the Blogger Formerly Known as Miniplum, now classified by the alias eatingplum, who possesses, and I quote, a "penchant for cute things," including but not limited to "cute pencils, cute pencil cases, and cute boys." So, serving as both a complete antithesis of the aforementioned qualities (except maybe for shoes) and as an exceptionally stuffed companion to the miniplum on a post-luncheon Embarcadero stroll, explodingplum was born.
And while I may have haphazardly stumbled into this e-universe, I vow to amend my ways. I do solemnly swear to never take the name of Emeril in vain. I will try one new food each week. I will not be a produce sadist.
Well, two out of three ain't bad.
3 comments:
HAHAHA.
You're so funny! I'm sure your blog will "explode" as soon as you start taking pictures of the food you make and let us know what you have been up in the kitchen. :-)
Chocolate soufflé inspires all kinds of crazy things, trust me.
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